The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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