All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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