bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
