so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
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It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
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Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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