like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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