so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize