dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
