is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
