he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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