you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
