You're so nebulous sometimes
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
