oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
