I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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