he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize