you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize