Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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