I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Life without a bra equals bliss.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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