dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
where are my pants?
in the oven.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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