I think scott just propositioned me for sex
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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