yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
