dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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