Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
