People with herpes should wear stickers.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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