DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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