Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
