you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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