okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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