What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
