I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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