how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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