i jhust puked up my retainher.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
