how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
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We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
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My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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