just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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