Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
