You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
