Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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