You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
