Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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