I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
