So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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