Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
