In the future we'll all be gay
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize