Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
