let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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