Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
