Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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