i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
