Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
