Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize