My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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