I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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