Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
