if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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