Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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