I need help removing her.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
