This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
