i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
